SAINA Safety Statement
SAINA is a fellowship of women and men who come together to share their experience, strength and hope with each other that they may solve their common problem of sexual & intimacy anorexia and to heal from their addiction through the 12 step programme of recovery. It is designed to be a safe and loving community where individuals are able to heal from their dis-ease.
Fellowship as part of this community is strongly encouraged, and for many of us, it has been instrumental in taking on the isolation that so often accompanies this dis-ease. It is important to note that individuals, whose patterns manifest in various ways, attend these meetings. Some will have been victims of abuse, others will have engaged in abusive conduct as part of their acting out patterns, for which they are seeking recovery. A number of individuals will fall within both categories. For some of us, our boundaries have been so violated that we don’t know how to keep ourselves safe. This is one of the tasks that we learn in recovery.
As a guide, the following is suggested:
- As with sponsorship, individuals create their safe outreach network with fellows who are not of the gender or sexual orientation of their acting out /acting in patterns. Exchange telephone numbers only with individuals that do not fall within this category.
- Limit your engagement with individuals that are the same gender or sexual orientation of your acting out/acting in patterns in meetings whilst you are in early recovery.
- If you are at all concerned about an individual, speak up. Do not ignore your instincts. Share with people in the rooms that you trust and your sponsor as to how best to proceed.
- If you are uncomfortable about someone’s behaviour, set a boundary. Use your safe outreach network for support.
- Attend fellowship events with others present.
- Do not give out any information other than mobile numbers (i.e. full names, addresses) until you know someone well and are confident that they are safe.
- Sometimes we develop close relationships within the group, but as this is an anonymous fellowship we do not know anything of a person’s background, for example, whether or not they have committed criminal offences. It is advisable therefore, that if developing close friendships or relationships outside the group, that you bear this in mind.
- Regardless of parental consent, no children or individual under the age of 18 years old is to be admitted into a SAINA meeting.
In addition to the above, we suggest the following relating to Skype meetings
- If you are SKYPEing in from a mobile phone, in a public place or where others might overhear, please use your headphones in order to protect the anonymity of the group.
- We recommend that you have a separate ID for Skype meetings to protect your anonymity.
- We suggest that you do not add your surname, personal details or photo’s to your profile, you may use an icon or avatar instead.
- Only add contacts that you feel safe to contact. If in doubt, speak to your sponsor or others on your ‘safe list’.